I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
