Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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