You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
