I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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