i'm signing you up for texting rehab
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
