The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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