During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
