The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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