i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
