I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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