I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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