Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
