sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
