I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
