is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
