I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize