it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
