Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You don't make any sense
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She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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