Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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