I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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