She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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