Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
