no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Banned from zoo.
Again?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
