you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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