if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
