is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
