overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
