Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
