Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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