yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
