So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
