i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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