If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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