im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize