He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
