I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
