I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
