what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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