If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize