somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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