Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we're making bets on your personal life
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
