actually, I'm a sock model
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
