when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
