Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
