ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
