Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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