covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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