My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
