I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
