Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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