I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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