I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
