So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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