you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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