I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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