some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
