It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize