It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
