Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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