He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We are two peas in an std pod
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
