Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
