How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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