Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
