your thong is hanging out like whoa
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize