I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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